“I never knew I could feel so much pain, and yet be so in love with the person causing it”

-via Curiano.com

This is an astonishing and brilliant concatenation. This show had me hooked from the beginning. It is another brilliant jewel from Vietnam that exceeds expectations and does so with a simple story being told as a narration. The story begins with one recalling, in painstaking detail, the saga to love he augmented for his stepbrother (as told in the past tense), now though he seems older, wiser, more reflective and pensive. It becomes a story within a story. Happily told but sadly experienced.

Hoai Tan (Hoang Cong Dat) is an angry young man, full of bitterness against his lot in life. He lashes out at the world in frustration because he is misunderstood and feels left out and perhaps abandoned. A tough exterior hides an interior of vulnerability and pain. It is mostly directed towards his stepbrother, Nguyen Vu (Vo Tran Song Duy). Vu is a bit older than Tan and by all measures, liked and respected by others. He is smart and studies hard, which is the opposite of Tan. Tan is angry with his father for having married Vu’s mother, who subsequently leaves his father to raise Vu as his ‘older’ son as well. Because Vu’s mother is away on business a lot, Vu is now seen as the brother who bears the responsibility of watching over and be responsible for Tan. Tan feels that his time with his father gets divided because of Vu’s presence and this creates a sibling rivalry, which drives Tan to act out even more. Tan despises his stepbrother and claims to hate him.

Yet, throughout this crisis, Vu and Tan begin to bond. Vu takes on more and more of the role of older brother, protector, and mentor to his younger brother. Tan’s anger begins to subside or becomes more of a defense mechanism to not wanting to face what he is really feeling. Fairly quickly, as Tan begins to realize that Vu is not an enemy, he learns to respect him and becomes more affectionate towards him. As these sensualities intensify, Tan becomes more cognizant that these are not just feelings of brotherly love for him, but way more fervent. The development of these feelings is quite spot-on and honest; they endeared me even more to this series. For example, as they develop a closeness, Tan begins to notice that Vu has a certain ‘smell’ that is unique to him and he becomes aroused when he smells that scent. This is so astonishingly accurate as any young gay guy will tell you (including me) that once you have identified that unique ‘smell’ of the person you are interested in, be it from the aftershave or cologne plus their body smell, it becomes an aphrodisiac.

It becomes obvious that both are feeling something for each other that is no longer covert. One day the power is lost, Tan is fearful and asks to sleep with Vu. When he sees Vu’s body, it becomes an overwhelming sensation for him. And an excitement enveloped him. Curiosity and prurience get the better of him and he slides his hand down Vu’s underwear and obviously gets caught. This screenplay captures the nuances of teenage years and shows the unfiltered responses to their sexual drives with complete accuracy and realism in all its stupidity.

Vu is more reserved in his approach to how he feels towards Tan. In a sense, he does not want to influence him or pressure him to develop a relationship. Thus, he holds back in expressing his true feelings. Influenced to be with his mother in Singapore to finish school, he tells Tan he is leaving. The exchange between the two is breathtaking. Tan is devastated but in a significant sign of maturity tells Vu, weeping, that he understands his reasoning to go even before he says anything. That decision is between him and his mother and he knows he cannot choose him. “But I still hope you would choose to stay with me,” Tan says. They kiss and embrace, just as the mother passes by and sees them together. That night, they make love. It is, at that point, they realize the depth of their love for each other, and the shackles of inhibitions are broken. Tan matures into an adult.

The mother tries to process this relationship, but she and their father need more time to understand and appreciate its depth while accepting their love for each other. Therefore, they think that the time apart will do them good. As time goes by, the contact between the two brothers becomes non-existent. The time for healing and reflection begins.

What makes this story so unique is that it is being recited as a story for a book called Tien Bien (Calm Sea). It is an anthology about love told by recalling the past; with time acting as a great equalizer and maturity providing the healing power to tell the story with more objectivity. I found this approach a beautiful way to reminise their love story as the author was able to ask the questions that are too painful to ask of yourself. Thus, we get a pensive, reflective picture told through the eyes of the person reliving the love again, though it is spoken with a clearer focus.

It is hard to see this story other than through the eyes of both Tan and Vu and their rollercoaster ride through the different emotions that they had to experience. Therefore, Hoang Cong Dat as Hoai Tan and Vo Tran Song Duy as Nguyen Vu are the stars. One emotional, the other realistic. One older, the other younger. One was always sure, the other needing to get there. They brought depth, a sense of reality, and intensity to each of their characters. You could see their connection grow from dislike, to tolerance, acceptance, deep respect, admiration, love, to soulmates, as if they were meant to be. It is a journey of love fully warranted to be told as a vade mecum. Their acting brought it to life and gave it real meaning. Kudos to making us feel that their characters were intrinsic.

The real impact of this story is in how it is told. It is told through Tan’s perspective as he learns and reflects upon the silliness of his actions and recognises the depth of his love for his stepbrother. It starts out with his childish antics and ends with adult regret while still holding out a sense of hope. It was presented as a chapter in Tan’s life, now reflected through the eyes of his adult self. Sometimes with regret, but mostly with a sensation that he had known a person in his life who had truly loved him. And he feels satisfied.

How does the story within a story end? That is not my story to tell. That is for you to experience. All I can tell you is that this is a masterful chronicle told almost flawlessly with the aim to feel a deeper sense to reality. The screenplay presents love unashamedly, and is brilliantly written with a profound, seemingly experiential, understanding of the stages of growth that a young man, particularly a gay one, must muster through. It is yet again another masterpiece from a country that still has not been recognized as giving us BL series that we can see, feel, and experience in a way that moves us by reaching our inner core (where we have stored our long-forgotten emotions). This story indeed touches the soul.

One of the best BLs of 2022!

Rating- 4.9 out of 5