This series is exceptional, surprisingly. I was not expecting it to affect me as deeply as it did, but one had to frankly get through a lot of cacophony to get to the story. But once you did, and evaluated that, it was much deeper than most viewers, I think, realized. It honestly left me emotionally drained. This series, I felt.

It starts out as your typical Thai BL series with a character who seems superficial, spoiled pampered, and arrogant with a ginormous ego. A successful and well-off writer, Tongrak [Rak] (Peat Wasuthorn), seemingly coming to a remote island to clear his head, acts pensive and appears obviously troubled. Good-looking to be sure, but aloof and evidently wants to be left alone. The person who is paid to take care of him while on the island is Mahasamut [Mut] (Fort Thitipong), a bit of a celebrity on the island. He is dropped-dead gorgeous himself and plays with Rak like he is playing a musical instrument. In other words, he is unimpressed with Rak’s status and money. Throughout their stormy exchanges, Mut develops strong feelings for Rak. Rak pretends desperately not to be enamored with Mut but becomes captivated by Mut’s sincerity and utter charm. It does not take long for sparks to fly and fly they do.

However, Rak sees everything only in terms of business agreements or somebody wanting something from a relationship. Love for him is unacceptable and an emotion he will not succumb to. His emotional defense walls are high and very deep. Yet before he has to leave the island, both have fallen in ‘love’ with each other but dare not speak in those terms. Rak, cannot bear the thought of Mut not being with him, proposes he returns with him to Bangkok.

Once there, Rak creates a ‘working written agreement’ in which Mut will be ‘paid’ for his services. Surprisingly, Mut agrees to this arrangement, which to say the very least is odd and mercenary. Yet, I never once felt that Mut was doing anything simply for the ‘money’. Mut senses and seems aware that Rak’s fear of love is deeply terrifying and more emotional traumatic than anything superficially he displays on the surface.

The story takes a while to develop and really does not fully unfold until the end with only snippets of information provided along the way as to why Rak is like the way he is. Often times without a nexus. When Rak’s father (An Oliver Poupart) reenters his life directly, we more fully discern why Rak is like he is. Rak was and to a degree still is a product of psychological/emotional abuse carried over from his childhood. We know that his father also physically abused him as well; so along with the mental tortures and anguishes from childhood, he got ‘stuck’ emotionally at a young age and could not break away from the inherent fear of his father’s influence. The series did an exceptional job of showing this, which indeed is a bone fide mental health condition. I do wish, however, it had made this point clearer earlier on so that it did not appear that Rak was merely being petulant. He was indeed suffering deep and long-lasting emotional scars and only in the last episode did we get to see its significance and the damage and toll it took on Rak. While his behavior seemed irrational, his father reminded him that to love only meant something scarier and will only lead to greater pain.

Mut, whether he realized it consciously or not, knew all of this. Perhaps not to its extent or to its depth, but he did know that Rak was deeply troubled yet remained capable of love. Both of loving and being loved. This is a remarkably tender story of loving someone for which love represents an association of hurt, pain, and rejection. So, in a sense, this is not a BL, but an intensely psychological LGBTQIA+ story. Its theme is so much more than mere romance and delves into the trauma of a coming of age feeling unloved, and surrounded by pain. The story is replete with references to Rak’s growing up that gave meaning to his life that we were unaware of until the end. Somehow, Mut understood all of that. Yet he wanted to be with Rak and love Rak no matter what – just as long as Rak could take even the smallest step forward to loving him back. Rak’s road to recovery to feeling love and being loved will be difficult for a long time. This series does not pretend to hide that fact. Kudos for making that point a focus in their relationship.

There is no question who really is the ‘star’ in this series. It is Meena (Nina Nuttacha Jessica Padovan). She is Rak’s niece and is wise beyond her years. Astute, analytical, and intelligent. She, in her innocence as a child, has a way of making the world right. She knows, senses, and feels that the relationship between her uncle and Mut is the right one. Nina’s acting skills are phenomenal. She is quite the scene-stealer without having to really try. She has an ‘it’ factor that makes you notice her and when she says something, her simplicity in breaking down the situation is pure child-like logic and therefore sensible. Her smile is infectious, and you believe her sincerity. She made this series feel so much more approachable and one felt as if Mut and Rak’s relationship was simply right and good. Why? Because Meena accepted it.

What brought this series down and unfortunately way down was the awful peripheral (I guess) GL between Rak’s best friend, Vivi (Chanya Amarit Duval) and Rak’s secretary Mook (Aya Orapan Phongmaykin). Not only was Mook exasperatingly irritating with her constant whining about having to do things for Vivi (and her overall whining in general), but also with Vivi’s privileged position of demanding that she do so. It was all so childish, immature, downright harassing, and completely unnecessary to the story. I never once bought that they had any connection to each other and frankly I skipped through almost of their scenes. It was really unwatchable and cringey at best. What was the purpose of this?

If this story had been tightened up and made to only concentrate on the story of Rak and Mut, this would have been on my top ten list of best BLs for this year. But they still could not shake compliance to standard formulaic actions. What gave this series its uniqueness is the phenomenal chemistry between Fort and Peat. And their complete commitment to the roles. If, however, the writers had delved deeper into Rak’s scars and made Mut’s influence ever stronger, this series would have been a story to remember, and it would have been ground-breaking. If I were doing this story, I would have begun with the last episode as the first and then told the story of how they got there. Only them, with then the essential figures influencing the story. We could undoubtedly have understood what made both ‘tick’. These two are fascinating individuals and I wanted to know who they were. All we saw were glimpses and shadows of who they were. I did not want to find that out only in the end. The two of them fascinated me as a couple.

The purpose of a story is to tell it from its beginning. Unfortunately, we did not see the beginning of this story until the end. When we saw it, it then made sense, and it captured our imagination.

What we see at the end was how fragile Rak really was, is, and will be, I am afraid, for a long time; and how strong Mut was, is, and now must be. I hope there is a Season Two. What a story this could be!

Rating- 4.5 out of 5

Streaming on- IQIYI