The long-awaited series Not Me has finally started airing. Starring BL world’s very loved couple, Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat and Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn, also commonly called Off-Gun, in the lead the series is off to a good start.

“I must track down those who injured Black and put them behind bars.”

White and Black have conflicting personalities.

White is embracing somebody else’s identity; he is trying to be someone who he is not. Even though the other person is his brother he is completely clueless about his brother’s personality. A person changes in several ways while growing up and that is what happened with Black as well. From what White remembers, Black is not the same guy. When you’re imitating someone, there are chances that you lose yourself completely in the identity of the other. This is what is happening with White. Probably. He should be a diplomat. Defending the country internationally, representing the country, but White is facing a dilemma. He can see the deteriorating condition; still, he cannot lie and also cannot face the truth. We cannot call him a coward but we cannot call him brave either, yet. He is suffering because he might lose his brother on top of getting involved with dangerous people. He also has to take the law into his hands, which he absolutely does not wish to do. The situation is bound to affect him. Mentally and physically.

The first episode had me thinking, that when White gets the news that his brother is dying, why was there no focus on his grieving process but more on revenge? He had not been connected to his brother in so many years and when he finally came back to Thailand and he felt the connection with his brother, it was when he is on his deathbed. The lack of emotion there surprised me.

The part where the father says, “Why do you care about your brother and mother? Forget about them.” That moment really made me uncomfortable. What was the reason? Why was he resenting his other son? Maybe it was because they had a very strong twin connection and the parents wanted to keep them away. But is it really that bad of a thing? Plus why did the father want to stay away from Black? Maybe he did not get his custody but hating him to the point where they don’t maintain any connection at all was also suspicious. Maybe there is something more to it. We shall learn in the later episodes. But it just did not sit well with me.

Another thing is that White and Black did not stay connected at all. They had no idea about each other. This is also surprising because they had such a strong connection when they were little.

After learning that Black was almost murdered, he decides that he will put whoever was behind his brother’s condition behind bars. So, he assumes his brother’s identity. But, he is jumping into the lion’s den without being prepared. He should have laid low for a while and observed. For now, his brother’s friends do not seem suspicious, but what if they were? What if the person responsible for his brother’s condition was among them? What then? Maybe he would have figured it out that White is just someone pretending to be Black, which won’t work in his favor. His hasty decision almost blew his cover many times, so much so that he also almost died. He should have been more prepared. Researched a bit more. My coffee-fueled self has many questions and so many speculations.

What I want to especially mention is the picturization of the second episode. The scene where all four of them are standing outside Tawi’s house while holding the Molotov cocktail in their hands gave me chills. They looked like true vigilantes wanting to change something. The shots were so beautiful. For me, the shots of the fire spreading actually tried to portray the decaying condition of corruption in the country. The scene on the bike when Gram and White are going back from Tawi’s residence is beautifully shot.

Who is ‘G’ by the way? I am almost certain that it is Gram. There are certain reasons why I think that. He notices that White is wearing perfume, he did his hair and he also compliments that he likes the new version of him. From what it seems Black has always been kind of a douche, so maybe he just likes it that Black isn’t treating him like a douche. And if it indeed is Gram, then maybe Black has feelings for him as well, since the toys were found in his home. Another thing was when Black was hurt he was very concerned. But if that indeed is true, what about Black’s girlfriend that was shown in the trailer? They did break up in the trailer itself but was it, Black or White? The trailer depicts more chemistry with Sean. But it depends who ends up with who (Keeping the novel aside because it is loosely based on it.) Because it seems like Sean and White have chemistry but Sean did not have the best relationship with the real Black and Gram on the other hand has feelings for the real Black. Also, White’s explanation that Tawi could be behind Black’s condition seems plausible. It is entirely possible that Tawi ordered his men to kill Black. Gumpa seeing right through White is amazing. He is the only one who realized something is up with Black. Right now I think that he has realized that the person is not Black because he introduced himself. For what reason he isn’t selling him out I am not sure. But maybe White has someone he can count on.

Apart from all this, the series is touching a lot of real-life issues. The corrupt businessman, the rich getting things the easy way and the poor suffering for the smallest of things. The discrimination that people with disabilities face, the nepotism and the hard work of normal people not getting appreciated. It also shows the silent but firm protest of the younger generation. All the things that White has been shielded against are catching up to him. He is realizing the power of his privilege. He would never have noticed the corrupt businessman if he hadn’t taken over Black’s identity. He is improving as a person because he is questioning things that he never did before. With every episode as the story dwells deeper into the issues, the story is improving, the picturization is improving as well. The character development of White as shown as of now is also phenomenal.

Rating- 3.5 out of 5