Adapted from the manga series Watashi to Otto to Otto no Kareshi by Ayano Ayano, Japan’s newest drama Me, My Husband, and My Husband’s Boyfriend certainly messed with its viewers’ feelings, something that is evident simply by scrolling through the hashtag.

And yet, it also came to express itself.

A drama that centers around a woman in a sexless marriage who discovers her husband kissing another man, Me, My Husband, and My Husband’s Boyfriend appears to be a story about infidelity. And to an extent, it is.

But it is also a story about learning to accept yourself in a society with stringent ideas about what is and isn’t normal.

And there’s something beautiful about the way it culminates. Although Nakamichi Misaki (Hotta Akane) and Nakamichi Yuuki (Furukawa Yuki) choose to divorce, they do so while also choosing to remain together, to love each other in a way they feel comfortable with while also allowing themselves to love other people.

There’s a lot to take away from Me, My Husband, and My Husband’s Boyfriend, but much of it is lost in the infidelity. While I found it easy to see beyond the cheating to the underlying theme beneath, it has been noticeably challenging for most viewers.

I rarely watch a Japanese live-action without having read the manga first. Me, My Husband, and My Husband’s Boyfriend is an exception. While I am confident the manga provides a much deeper look into each character’s backstories, I had no trouble understanding and relating to them for various reasons.

Especially to Ina Shuhei (Honda Kyoya).

This series is an emotionally crazy ride, and although Ina Shuhei is one of those characters you either get or don’t, love or hate, I love how honest he is with himself and others. Although I am well aware that Shuhei is somewhat different in the manga, I was drawn to the open way he expresses himself in the series. He fully accepts that he can’t limit himself to loving just one person. Love is multifaceted and has no boundaries. It’s society that forces love into a box. Shuhei operates beyond these societal ‘norms’ and pushes Yuuki and Misaki to stop lying to themselves and be honest with their feelings.

And they do.

Now let’s talk about the infidelity. Yes, Yuuki cheats. Yes, he does so on the night of his anniversary. And yes, he’s caught.

There are many reasons to dislike him, not because of his sexuality but because he chooses to cheat. I won’t try to defend his actions, even if I understand why he did it. I won’t attempt to excuse him, even though I see why he found needing to be with Shuhei too overwhelming to deny.

Instead, I will point out the obvious. Misaki chooses to remain inside her marriage despite knowing her husband cheated. She decides to bring Shuhei into her home, even if it is a desperate attempt to keep her marriage intact. She chooses denial over facing the truth.

But she also gains truth from choosing to hold on.

While I hope to eventually see a Japanese series that portrays a healthy polyamorous relationship from the onset without the infidelity, I like that Me, My Husband, and My Husband’s Boyfriend attempts to bring attention to non-monogamous relationships while also pointing out the fact that marriages to disguise sexuality are happening. If we lived in a perfect world where people weren’t persecuted for who they love, the decision to marry who we love wouldn’t become a moral complexity. Since society has placed love inside a box, breaking out of that box isn’t always pretty.

Real world relationships are messy. Feelings are messy. Hurt is real. Me, My Husband, and My Husband’s Boyfriend doesn’t shy away from the hurt, but it also offers us a mature and empathetic female lead who is able to look beneath that hurt to find her own truth.

Breaking free of societal norms allows us to see relationships in a much wider viewpoint. This series delves less into polyamory and more into relationship anarchy, and I applaud it for doing so.

All of the main characters and many of the supporting ones are flawed. Each of them makes decisions many viewers have trouble accepting. Some of the intimate scenes fall short. But I find Me, My Husband, and My Husband’s Boyfriend to be a really honest and interesting look at relationship anarchy.

While I’ve seen a lot of dramas tackle diverse representation, I’ve not seen one actually attempt a plot using relationship anarchy. I was pleasantly surprised to find that here, especially in how Shuhei and Misaki attempt to present themselves to the people around them.

I like that, despite her pain, Misaki takes the time to look up what it means to discover her husband is gay. I like that, despite what she goes through, she sees the heteronormative and oppressive home Yuuki grew up in and chooses to defend him. While trying to make a marriage bound to fail work, she discovers what she truly wants from the people in her life and what she desires from the relationships she has with them. She wants to exist outside society’s box, whether that means later exploring her crush on Daichi, exploring the possibility of being treated like a woman (possibly by Shuhei or someone else she meets), or simply sharing her life with the two men she cares for.

In the end, Me, My Husband, and My Husband’s Boyfriend has an open ending. And while many may find that frustrating, I find it compelling. It leaves their story up to interpretation, but by doing so, it also keeps their story outside the ‘normal’ box everyone wants to keep them in.

Because, in the end, no matter how they get there, what they do next is their choice based on their own feelings.

Not the viewers’.

And there’s power in that.

For an angsty drama with diverse representation that will give you a lot to think about and much to talk about, good and bad, check out Me, My Husband, and My Husband’s Boyfriend now on Gagaoolala.

Rating- 3.5 out of 5