This series is an erotic roller-coaster ride through the world of gay love. If non-gay people want to know what it is like to be gay, then this is the series to watch. Not the idealized versions of BLs. This is what the world of gayness is, whether you want to believe it or not, accept it or not. It is what it is. Sure, it is the darker side, but it is no less real than the ornament sanitized version of what GAY love is via BL. In other words, this is its antithesis. This expresses the real world.

It is a potpourri story that is at times impossible to follow and logically makes absolutely no sense; it has a ‘soap-opera aspect to it. And I loved every minute of it. Why? Because, it presents the darker side of ‘BL’. And if you think for one second that this world either does not exist or is not real, then you are misinformed and mistaken. As it does. What this story does is capture all the issues facing gay men today in a raw, gritty, realistic fashion. Sometimes a bit over-the-top dramatically but never ever unrealistically. To be sure, the problems are overblown, but never its lasciviousness.

This story is virtually impossible to summarize. And in reality, the story is not the focus. It is the characters in the story and who they represent. Each character represented an archetype of opposites. Good and evil. Strength and weakness. Happiness and sadness. Positive and negative. And each of them shows a side of us who are gay that is in us presently, perhaps hidden, or buried, or fantasized, or lusted, or caged, or repulsed yet lurking erotically within like demons we dare not speak about or call to consciousness. In a sense, we are forced to see ourselves in one of more of these characters whether we want to or not, as they represent our darker side. Yes, this really is the gay world.

The story is based upon a missing roommate named Nant (Dech Narongdet) who lives, to put it mildly, with a group of misfits. Zoey (Korn Palat) has an idealized version of sex and presents to the world a beacon of moral light while hiding and suppressing a dark hidden secret and horror as to why that motivates his behavior. One we do not find that out until the end. First (Chat Wasutha), loves and is into BDSM. Captain (Vivit Pharunrit), is a sex addict who is into kinky sex fetishes and secretly records sexual encounters. Porsche (Fay Chintub), is abusive towards his lover because he himself is abused by his adopted ‘father’. And Nont (Dech Narongdet) pretends to be his twin brother, Nant, to try to find out what happened to his brother. He comes like most of us would with an idealized version of his brother but comes to realize that his brother is not just a victim but an abuser as well.

Nont solicits the assistance of the rest of these roommates and their partners. Each of them has lovers who represent their darker side and are in essence a mirror image of who they are. Several of whom have worked for a club called Playboyy, where you get to rent and purchase the boy of your choice, for the sexual activity of your choice. As they get closer to finding out what happens to Nant, the exposure of each of their darker secrets is exposed and in a sense all of them either directly or indirectly contributed to Nant’s spiral into drug and sex addiction. And each of them can be likened to a character in an Agatha Christe novel – always on the periphery, always innocent, yet knowing more than they care to admit to. As the story unravels, so do the layers of pain for each of them. Not so much on how they contributed to Nant’s fall but to how their exposure of their own vulnerabilities and weakness to what it is they are all struggling to get out of life strips away at their facades and forces them to deal with their fragility.

There are also side stories that appear to be only tangentially related to Nant but are indeed involved with him as the story converges. One side story involves a romantic interlude between two rent-boys at Playboyy named Aob (Aun Warit) and Puen (Parm Pawarate). Despite their difficult and troubled background and why they have to sale themselves, they have learned to separate and compartmentalize the various demands for eroticism with uniqueness and singularity. More importantly, they are able to separate the pleasures of the flesh for work from the pleasures of flesh in making love when they are together. This series beautifully portrayed that distinction and easily characterizes the various acts of sex, rather than making it all look like it is romantic. (I had to actually look up several sexual terms I was unfamiliar with). In fact, that is the beauty of this series. We can see, observe sex and sexual behavior in so many meaningful expressions not related to a romanticized version and yet still maintain satisfaction. Of all the couples, this couple, as the saying goes, ‘springs eternal’.

The other subplot is a much, much darker couple named Phop (View Thanathorn) and Nuth (Win Jirapat) and is the polar opposite of Aob and Puen. By every measurable standard, these two guys are on the fringe of society and are as close to falling into the abyss of becoming the dregs of society. They find each other and fall madly and deeply in love. Yet in a world that only involves them. They live in a world of grandiosity and dreams, wanting to fit in, yet never can or will. It does not diminish their love. It merely dooms it. You can sense and feel its foreclosure. I have seen some sad love stories but theirs is by far one of the deepest melancholy love stories I have ever seen. They give a new definition to the term troubled figures.

This is truly an ensemble cast. In some sense it is underplayed and is played astonishingly dark and broody. Sometimes, they appeared to be caricatures; not real people. But ironically, their actions scream humanity. In another sense, it is also like watching a Greek tragedy being performed in a-theater-in-the-round. They left nothing to our imagination. It was all there. We see all their pain, their pleasure, their sadness, their joys, and all their sexual proclivities. Kudos to all these actors who took roles that are fringy, dark, and unlikeable and turned them into relatable human beings that we can see and most importantly make us feel something for their characters other than passivity. We are not watching; we are engaging. But for me the deepest character and the most tragic was Phop. View Thanathorn played him from the beginning like a tragic figure destined for misfortune. Wanting love, finding it but knowing he could never hold onto it. Either he or the fates would diminish it for him. His whole persona was enveloped by profound sadness. He played Phob with such a monotone effect, that no one could tell what he was really feeling or how genuine he really was. The only person who truly understood him and related to him was someone just like him and that was Nuth. With Nuth no longer going to be his anchor, his destiny was inevitable and final.

This series is so much deeper than it is given credit for. To be sure, it is just above being soft porn. However, there is nothing offensive about any of it. Behind closed doors, there is nothing shown that is not done, willingly, between gay couples. We become privy to gay guys making love and having sex with intensity and with complete passion and commitment. Finally! We see guys kissing, caressing, with sexual passion between them that does not look rehearsed or sanitized. It is also unabashedly looking like they were also enjoying the sex, which is something that is hardly ever seen in BLs anymore. Of course, there are some rough sexual scenes in there that border and are abusive, which is completely unacceptable. Yet, the series does it all in the context of the story which does not condone it but merely explains it. The real question I really think this series is asking is: Is anyone a victim? Or all they all victims?

There is some real ugliness in this series. Murder, rape, sexual abuse, drug addiction, sexual exploitation, drug selling, filming of sex acts without consent, kidnapping, physical abuse, BDSM, sexual perversions, male prostitution, and finally, dishonesty in unimaginable forms. Yet this series is remarkable in what it did to redefine the concept of love, especially for those who think this is within the BL world. This is not a BL but a gay series WITH love. Hidden in all its ugliness and darkness is love. Without exception, every one of the characters in this series was looking for, seeking, craving, wanting love. But not necessarily romantic love but the expansive definition of it. The love of acceptance, of pure sex, of being desirable, of lust, of escaping the pain of loneliness, of the touch of another man, or a million other ‘of’ reasons why we fall in love that has nothing to do with the romantic notion of love. For that this series deserves our deepest respect and admiration for its courage to define love differently.

I have rated this series highly because it deserves it. Here are my reasons:

1. It is unique. As mentioned, it redefined the concept of love and broadened it.

2. It breaks the standard trope and cliché formulas of BLs. It focused exclusively on gay men.

3. Because it presents unhesitatingly what men in love (and many of these guys end up in loving relationships, even if only for short duration) do when having sex and/or making loves and it most assuredly goes beyond the benign nontoxic simple kisses on lips barely touching or kissing foreheads or pats on heads. Those are not overtures of intimate love. That is for the camera.

4. It shows that love can be developed by all manner of gay people, not just your sweet, innocent, innocuous, conventional types.

5. It shows that all of us have both a yin and a yang to us. Nothing is ever black and white. We are both good and bad. Sad and happy. Pleasure and pain. Angry and calm. Kinky and ordinary. This is part of the humanity in all of us.

This series defies categorizing. It really is in a genre by itself. This series is so real. The antagonist, at least so far, is left unpunished. Some actions taken by many of the characters were unscrupulous and disgusting. Some paid a price while others were forgiven. Simply others never found out. Does this sound like real life?

The sex throughout was deliciously kinky and wonderfully exposed in such interesting manners. How you can show eroticism with underwear is a real art and a challenge and for the most part was done well. Non-gay people can now get a sense what the real world of gayness is all about. I adored the contrast to the idealized version of BL. Every once in a while, we need to be shocked back into reality and this series does that. These actors had the guts to portray the characters in all their rawness and ugliness, and yet give them reliability and made them oh so human. Kudos! And well done!

I for one loved this series. This will end up on my “Ten Best List for 2024”.

Rating- 5 out of 5

Streaming on- Gagaoolala