In essence, this 20-minute short film imparts more than most BLs do in 12 episodes. Ironically, it also goes deeper emotionally than most BLs ever go as well. Additionally, it is one of the best acted BLs from Thailand I have seen in a long time. So, in that sense, this film is genuinely a paragon. As much as this is a gem, I rejected its subtle underlying message ardently and found it quite demoralizing as a gay man. Allow me to explain.

The saga itself is not exactly original but how it is told, is. It is creative with its intent to pull at the heartstrings. Two young men meet at an audition for a series and initially form a friendship. Instantly. There is a natural connection between the two and there is also an organic chemistry between the two. They seem to have an instinctual bond to one another, as if it was meant to be. So much so that they are ‘shipped ‘together and over the years do one series/movie after another.

However, hidden beneath their successful shipping image was the fact that they were deeply, intensely, and profoundly in love with one other. But the only way in which they can express their love was through their scenes together. The set was the only place they allowed themselves to love one other. They dared not to take it further than what the public saw.

But Tul (Jespipat) decides to walk away from Garn (Bible Wichapas). Not because of being weary of acting or burn out or any of the excuses for quitting acting. He could not pretend to love Garn anymore without loving Garn in the fullest sense of the word. The pretending was not sustainable. It was not in his nature to do that. He could not; would not. The pressures of normalcy and conforming and therefore leading a life more befitting the lifestyle of everydayness was paramount. So, he seeks to be accepted and wants a family. Way more than he wants or needs the love from Garn.

Yet, the love that they have for each other never diminished or faded. In fact, if anything, it simply internalized at a much greater strength that only the two of them could understand. And its impact on each can only be imagined. Although they did not see each other much over the years, their connection to one another still remained strong. As Garn lays dying, Tul tells him that he named his daughter after him.

That is the power and testament of the strength and commitment of their love to one another.

This short film is a wonder to behold and will pull at your heart and soul. No doubt one will tear from pangs of sorrow and feelings of sadness. Yet, all I felt was disdain. Neither had strength nor courage. I only saw two people deeply in love, playing love, yet unable to quantify that love in their own reality. One out of fear and the other because of the social pressures to be ‘normal’. Again and again this story remains a constant and consistent one. The imagery that somehow to be ‘gay’ in real life is abhorrent even though it is quite acceptable on the screen. It adulterated a feeling between two men yet did so by pulling at the sentiments of righteousness. That their actions taken were somehow noble. They were anything but that.

Again, the surreptitious image remains that gay people lead sad, rather pathetic lives, and must hide behind the curtain of hetero social normalcy to be ‘happy’. I found that premise appalling as a gay man. Of course, not to mention – whether for effect or storytelling itself – the outcome is the same. The pathetic gay dies a young tragic death of a health issue. Meanwhile, the straight guy blissfully saunters off with his family after visiting the grave site of perhaps the only person who loved him as deeply and passionately and unconditionally as anyone ever could in a lifetime. Not for any sense of benefit but because of commitment and devotion.

Of course, there are woeful stories among gay people. I am not naïve nor living in a dream world. But this is storytelling with a story line that becomes nefarious for one-sided altruistic reasons. “If you allow me to love you so much, I can love you forever,” Tul says to Garn. Hollow empty words. If you love someone, prove it. Do not hide behind those words to give yourself an excuse to not fully love in body and soul. I wept at the manipulation those words had over the life of someone so deeply and profoundly in love with you.

I loved and hated this series but, in the end, I hated it more than I love it. In my mind, it regressed a gay love story to an allegory of being pathetic, one still needing to be a conformist to survive, and ultimately fatalistic.

Yet, this is a brilliantly done production and one of the finest acted BLs to come along in a very long time. For that it deserves your attention. From a gay perspective, it is an epic Greek tragedy. It is not a sad story but a wistful one.

We can so easily accept a fantasy (BL) but not a reality (gay/lesbian couples/marriage).

Rating: 1 out of 5

Streaming on- Official White Music YouTube Channel